It’s no secret that everyday cars are getting faster by the minute, but one category of vehicles is getting hilariously quick, and that's the SUV market. What once was a running joke is now a reality; big family utility vehicles that beat sports cars in drag races; their grippy all-wheel-drive systems, lightning-fast gearboxes, and surplus of power make them a true force to be reckoned with on straights. As SUVs are growing exponentially in popularity, all major car brands and jumping on the bandwagon to create the most preposterous performance SUV, even Ferrari is set to put their Purosangue into production soon.
Now let's say the wife just doesn't stop nagging you to sell your pride and joy, your Mustang GT, for something more practical, what do you do? Well, you can buy one of these "boring family SUVs" of course, and every single one will demolish your pony car in a drag race.
10 Jeep Grand Cherokee Trackhawk
When you think of the brand Jeep, all that pops into your mind is the perfect first car for a blonde teenage girl, or perhaps a hardcore offroad hooligan, but one thing that Jeep has perfected is the lifted muscle car. See, when you're inside the Grand Cherokee Trackhawk and you step on the gas, it loses all sense of being a grocery hauler and abruptly whines right in your ear to generate a staggering 707 hp and 645 lb-ft of torque from its supercharged 6.2-liter V8.
Accompanying that power figure is the Trackhawk’s all-wheel traction control which results in 0-60 happening in less than 3.5 seconds. But don’t think you’ll be saving a dime on fuel as the Cherokee drinks fuel like an alcoholic at an open bar with a combined MPG of an expensive 13.
9 Tesla Model X Plaid
On the complete other end of the fuel-efficient spectrum, Tesla has created yet another impeccable sleeper, and this time it's a big seven-seater SUV that takes the cake for being the most ridiculous EV. Imagine this… you're driving a murdered out Lamborghini Aventador and stop next to a Model X Plaid at the traffic light.
You and the mom driving the Tesla make eye contact, and it's on. Three, two, one, go! And pulling away from your exotic Italian supercar is a 1,020 hp-electric SUV which can go from 0-60 in 2.3 seconds; for $120,000 we can't imagine anyone saying no.
8 Dodge Durango SRT Hellcat
So the Model X was an electric people carrier, but Dodge had its mind set to something more supercharged and gasoline-like, so they dropped a supercharged 6.2-liter HEMI V8 into their Durango and called it the SRT Hellcat.
Just like the Tesla, the Durango is a family transporter with three rows of seats and a roomy interior, but only these passengers won’t be thrown back in their chairs in silence, but rather an ungodly V8 cry. 710 all-American horsepower jolts the Durango Hellcat to 60 mph from a standstill in just 3.6 seconds and completes the quarter-mile in a time of 12 seconds dead at 115 mph. It's a shame, the Durango SRT Hellcat will soon be discontinued...
7 Jaguar F-Pace SVR
The Brits really have a thing for creating raw ridiculous performance SUVs, don’t they? Jaguar entered the SUV game in 2016, and their F-Pace has shown absolutely no sign of age; especially the SVR variant. Not only does the SVR get some cool vents and four exhaust tips, but it also has the power and sound to match its exterior’s aggressive appeal.
Of course, this 550 hp V8-powered Jag might not have quite the sharp handling characteristics of a supercar, but it most definitely makes for an excellent daily driver that can go from one red light to another in the blink of an eye.
6 Alfa Romeo Stelvio Quadrifoglio
Excellence, that’s all we have to say about the Stelvio QV. Alfa Romeo birthed their first SUV back in 2016, and released the Quadrifoglio variant shortly after, never has there been a worthy rival to the Stelvio that matches its charisma and driving demeanor.
In 2022, the Stelvio QV is powered by a 2.9-liter twin-turbo V6 which exclaims 505 hp to all four wheels. Despite its lack of power in comparison to the other big boys on our list, it still does 0-60 in a mere 3.3 seconds and embodies a true sports car-like driving experience.
5 Lamborghini Urus
When first announced, the world was shocked to see Lamborghini creating a full-fledged production SUV, and some Lambo purists actually offended, but everyone soon realized what an Italian maniac they have created.
All Lambo sports cars have no less than 10-cylinder engines, but the Urus makes use of a specially crafted twin-turbo V8, another reason to trigger some elderly fans. Despite its controversial attributes, Lamborghini truly perfected the balance between supercar-feel and family SUV practicality; a top speed of near 190 mph, a 0-60 time of 3.1 seconds and an interior fit for five adults make the Urus the perfect track car to take your family in.
4 BMW X6 M Competition
Ah, one of the original trendsetters behind the coupe-shaped SUV, the BMW X6, only this one is beefier, wider, more menacing, and faster than ever before. If you’d like an uber-powerful SUV with equally tantalizing looks, the X6 M Competition might be the best bang for your buck as you’ll be paying $110,000, which is less than Lamborghini money, for more than 600 hp in return.
Yes, the Beemer is quick and powerful, but where it has an edge over the rest of its rivals lies right between its legs, BMW’s rear-biased xDrive system. This essentially means you’d be able to drive a driftable X6 with a rowdy exhaust note to match your sheer driving skill.
3 Bentley Bentayga Speed
Listing a 626 hp luxury British SUV near the top of our list might sound a bit demeaning to the other entries with much more power, but the Bentley Bentayga Speed has one trick up its sleeve: top speed.
With its twin-turbocharged W12, the Bentayga can reach a surreal top speed of 190 mph; that’s faster than an Aston Martin DB9 for a frame of reference. If you were to sell your muscle car to afford one of these posh twelve-cylinder British beauts, just know they cost anything from $255,000, but its interior alone is worth the money.
2 Aston Martin DBX 707
Aston Martin is yet another grand carmaker that fell victim to the performance SUV segment, and although this entry is not quite available for purchase yet, we still believe it would make a good replacement for that overgrown sports car you have sitting in your garage at home.
It’s called the DBX 707, and it doesn’t produce 707 hp as you might have expected, but rather 707 metric horsepower, or 697 hp in normal people's terms. Aston also claims that this V8-powered luxurious boat can top the Bentayga’s 190 mph top speed with 3 mph at least… rather ambitious, aren’t the Brits.
1 Porsche Cayenne Turbo GT
You’ve seen some bonkers quick SUVs, some dangerously fast ones, and just jaw-drop gorgeous ones too, well here’s the ultimate track weapon, the Cayenne Turbo GT - that name's a mouthful, no doubt about it. The Cayenne has received some ludicrously powerful variants over the years, but the 5,000 lb Turbo GT with its coupe shape takes the cake with its 631 hp twin-turbo 4.0-liter V8 engine tucked in the front.
Some subtle changes only those with the keenest eyes may notice differentiate the GT from the rest of the Cayenne lineup like its dual-center exhaust tips, and carbon-fiber roof, but once you get to drive the Porsche... a whole new world opens up. It goes from 0-60 in an astounding 2.8 seconds, dashes down the quarter-mile in 11.1 seconds, and, most important of all, is the rightful owner to the title of the fastest vehicle around the Nurburgring in the "SUV, off-road vehicle, van, pick-up” segment ever with a time of 7:38.925.