In my early 20's I drove a Buick Regal, it was slow and boring and the same silver as every other Buick made in 2003. So I went to building onto the stout 3800 V6 under the hood to the extent that it went and sounded one-of-a-kind - because it was my custom Regal.
I even put custom badges on it that ended up being used to describe it on CARFAX. Customizing our cars is a rite of passage in many ways. I've personally always hated rolling up to a stop next to a car that looks exactly like mine. It's even worse when that car performs exactly like mine too. That's why we are willing to spend the money and really build our cars into the exact iteration we personally envision.
Sadly not everyone can have a solid basis for understanding why you do one mod or another and why you need to avoid some entirely. Today we look at 15 of the worst thing you can possibly do to a sports car. Some are stupid, some are useless and some are actually bad for performance.
15 Caliper Covers
The dumbest thing I've had to do as a service advisor is to tell one of my techs that he had to install these things on a customer's Mercedes. Really what I wanted to do was tell the customer to either pay for us to put actual red calipers on or to go home.
These will fall off and in some cases actually make it harder for your calipers to cool as they need to. Terrible idea. Put some big brakes on your car and get whatever color you want. You'll love them and get compliments all the time.
14 DIY Cold Air Intakes
I have absolutely been guilty of this but no more, amigos. The Flexi hose you're seeing here is absolutely terrible for airflow and will slow the air getting into your engine which in turn means less horsepower. Also, most people just throw a cone filter on the end of this which sucks in hotter air than it would if you had left the original plumbing. Leave this to the experts.
13 Poor Followthrough
I totally respect people who can shape and work with fiberglass really well. This could've turned into something awesome and unique and pretty clearly the followthrough just wasn't there. If you're going to do it at all, do it right. Don't be like this guy.
12 EBay Turbo Kits
I almost went down this route too. Not only are eBay turbo kits terrible because they don't fit anything. They're so cheaply made that you can bank on the turbo coming apart and spraying pieces of metal debris into your engine. Don't create a bigger headache for yourself. Get a reputable branded snail.
11 Electric Turbos And Superchargers
As a younger person, I wished these devices were capable of putting out real power. In reality, whether it calls itself a supercharger or a turbo these electric fans aren't capable of doing anything but taking up space under your hood and pulling a few extra bucks out of your bank account.
10 Fake Hood Pins
If you've ever driven a car that needed hood pins and didn't have them it was obvious. If you've seen something like this you do one thing. Facepalm. Hood pins are cool we all agree, but gluing fake ones onto your hood doesn't give you more credit, it takes a lot away. We haven't even talked about the scoop or the wing but we'll get there, friends.
9 Turbo Timers
I bought a car with a turbo timer once. It is a Rallycross built Subaru WRX. In that sport, you're often shutting the car down right after you beat the heck out of it on the track. That's the only suitable reason to have a turbo timer.
The idea is to let the car run a little longer after you get out so that the oil can continue to flow through the engine and turbo to cool it down before shut-down. If you're not doing something like that then you're wasting your money.
8 Lift Kits
"Soft-roading" is becoming a bigger and bigger thing these days but if that's something you want to do, don't ruin a sports car to do it. Not only are you ruining its ability to do what it was intended for, but it's probably a crappy off-roader, to begin with. Long hoods mean low visibility, especially when you're a foot higher off the ground than you need to be.
7 Custom Scoops And Fake Vents
We won't even rake this guy over the coals for the horrendous use of chrome piping. Let's focus on the hood scoop. Not only does this car not begin to benefit from it, but it's also installed backward. Perhaps they think they're venting that hot engine bay. What they're forgetting is that the designers already designed it to expel that hot air in an especially aerodynamic way that the owner has decided to ruin.
6 Fancy Hinges
Once again it feels like we could've picked a few different problems with this car. We're going to focus on the horrid hinges everywhere. Each of them is now less effective at its job. The doors and hood have been halved to give it this look and the trunk is now non-existant. Perhaps this is simply an art piece, what a waste of a Corvette.
5 Stick On Exhausts
Is there anything that says "I'm insecure" like fake exhausts? I'm not sure. In this case, we see them on an SUV of some ilk. I've personally seen a guy with a V12 BMW 760 put these on the back of his ride. What a sad state of affairs we live in when some folks think this is a solid use of $30.
4 Fake Turbo Noise Makers
My WRX makes some intoxicating turbo noises so I actually get this one to some degree. I don't think it's a good idea at all and you absolutely shouldn't do it but the sentiment is understandable. Save the cash and then buy a real turbo car. You'll be so happy you did.
3 The Vortex Intake
I can't believe this still exists but their idea is that they swirl the air to get it into your engine faster in the same way that swirling a bottle of soda that's upside down will get it to drain faster.
Trouble is that the only reason that works is that air is trying to get in while the soda gets out. There's nothing trying to get out of your engine's intake. You want that pipe as smooth as you can possibly get. You actually lose horsepower with this dumb mod.
2 Not Stopping When You're Ahead
The Viper is easily one of the greatest American sports cars ever made. Whoever was responsible for this clearly didn't understand that because they butchered this one like it was chop liver.
There are numerous examples of other sports cars that have suffered a similar fate too. If your car is actually fast please don't ruin it because you don't have the budget for proper exterior mods.
1 Aftermarket Wings
Before I get all kinds of hate, some aftermarket wings are good. This kind though, on front-wheel-drive cars, is completely pointless. Thow your money into a front splitter. Not only will that look cool and unique, but you'll also prove that you have an understanding of what really helps your car go faster.