"Like a Rock." That was the slogan for Chevy Trucks back in the '90s. It usually showed a Rockwellian cowboy loading baled hay into the bed with a sunset in the background. Chevy has been a staple of American roads for a very long time. So, why in the name of Joseph, Mary, or Peter would you take a good thing and ruin it with your perverse imagination? Well, that's exactly what these people did, and unfortunately, there are 25 of them. Some may actually hurt slightly to look at, and others are unsightly but good for a laugh or two.
The one good thing that comes from this list is it shows the world exactly what NOT to do to a Chevy, and if you were thinking of doing something similar, just look at the final outcome, and hopefully, you'll be deterred. Some of these vehicles may not even be street-legal, much less insurable. Some of them, you can safely blame on drugs of the stimulant variety—others, maybe of the hallucinogenic type. Either way, they built them, they're real, and they're out there somewhere. So, what follows is the top 25 worst modified Chevrolets ever.
Get some smelling salts, pop a Xanax, and behold the most deformed Chevy automobiles. For these folks, Chevy is indeed "Like a Rock," the kind you skip on the lake or throw into a deep, deep canyon to watch it freefall for a few seconds. Please, if you own one of these eyesores, put your vehicle in neutral, and do exactly that for the greater good.
24 24 Karats of Crap
Think it's a good idea to turn your Camaro into a reflective gold eyesore? Think jacking it up a half foot and putting donks on it is smart? Well, you failed at life. This thing is as loud as a dump truck with a missing muffler and the visual equivalent of turning into a pillar of salt. It's disgusting, and I can't think of one positive thing here. Maybe it's that your chances of a rollover are higher with the lift than without. You took a great car and destroyed it with your mental disability. While you're cruising around town in your celibacy-mobile, remember that you used to have friends, and this is why you no longer do. Drop the donks, stick with normal-people paint, and move on with your life.
23 Jacked-up Corvette, Jacked-up Mind
You know, once in a while, you come across someone who's so ridiculously crazy, you find the things they do are etched into your mind forever. This is why something like this Corvette should be illegal. First and foremost, it's a Corvette, not a truck. If you wanted a truck, why didn't you just purchase one instead of wasting the beauty and power of the car on this? You've disrespected yourself and everyone around you with this 4x4 sports car. Maybe there are situations your diseased brain can fathom where you need a lift kit on a Corvette, but we regular folk cannot begin to imagine them. Considering the fact that a Corvette has a (mostly) fiberglass body, this would be the worst vehicle to go off-roading in.
22 Green Slime Is a Road Hazard
Did this man just drive through a pile of green goo while on the highway? No! These are flames, and they're green cause it's cool! Thumbs up, you winner. Why these flames are green is beyond me. Why you paid $300 dollars for some counterfeit Versace glasses makes no sense either. This truck probably wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't so horribly green. Stop trying so hard to be cool, brother man. You have a semi-decent truck that looks like it's covered in snot. Whoever told you it looks nice lied to you. He's not your friend, sir. Friends don't let friends drive snot-covered vehicles. Please take this thing off the streets, at least until you fix the mucous-green flames.
21 When The Going Gets Tough...
Hard times in the neighborhood, eh, pal? I can't preach against this particular vehicle. I've been known to Frankenstein a car back to working condition. This one is actually impressive. I mean, I count 1, 2, 3, 4 different sources for parts. Just the ability to pull this off gets you some garage respect in my book. Never mind that the thing looks like how I feel after a hard night of drinking. Whatever it took, right? Now, you have a running truck again. Just remember all those friends who laughed at you will inevitably ask for a ride later on. When they do, just peel out in their face and make them inhale burnt rubber. Tell them, "Take the bus, jerk, just like you did back in high school senior year." Daddy wouldn't buy them a car? Well, boohoo. Guys like this made their own and stole your girlfriend in the process.
20 (Spew Coffee All Over Screen) Wow!
Well, I can't think of the why, but I think I understand the how. Live and let live doesn't apply here. This is an Astro Van. The sheer amount of work it took to do this—welding torch, sandpaper, paint-gun... I just can't understand why. Why??? Well, congratulations on your new truck-van. The transmission isn't made for hauling anything but passengers, so bear that in mind before you load this thing down with 500 pounds of concrete mix. Keep in mind, too, the guys at the construction site will laugh at you for doing this, and the police may harass you because they'll assume that you're a drug addict. Like Larry the local town drunk who lives somewhere down by the railroad tracks past the water tower, this thing is a one-of-a-kind misunderstood anomaly.
19 What The...
This is your brain; this is your brain on drugs—any questions. We can assume from the steering column going through the hood that yes, this thing actually drives and turns. You won't be able to see a damn thing since you're so high up in the air. The only thing I can think that this thing is is maybe a deer stand. Of course, if I were the deer, the very sight of this thing would have me and Bambi running in the opposite direction. One has to wonder... do you start this thing on top or below? Maybe it doesn't start at all; hence, the contraption in front may be for pulling it. To each his own, I suppose, but I can't help but judge the hell out this person for creating such an unusual and impractical contraption. Ladies and gentlemen, this is what happens when a good ol' boy is introduced to inner-city street drugs.
18 '57 Chevy Bel Air (Craptastic Edition)
No, people—Chevy isn't bringing back the iconic Bel Air like Dodge did the Charger. This (unfortunately) is a late model Corvette with a body kit on it. It's not nauseating to look at, but understanding that this used to be a Corvette is what gets me ill to my gills. Like the gold-star stickers teachers gave out of sympathy, this thing is just sad—sad because the '57 Bel Air is one of the greatest cars ever made, but this is definitely not that car. This right here is what happens when a millennial listens to Roy Orbison and decides he was born with an old soul. No, you weren't. You were born stupid. This vehicle is stupid, and by corollary, that makes you stupid. Please leave your inclinations for the 1950s to music only, and if you must, then eat lead paint chips and play in a pile of asbestos if you must go back to a different time.
17 Bruce Wayne After the Market Crash
What does a crime-fighting superhero do when he has a budget to consider? This thing wouldn't be so bad if it actually looked like the Caped Crusader's vehicle, but it looks like runover dog $#@#. I get it—every boy from every walk of life wanted the Batmobile. But you aren't a child anymore, sir. Despite your brain not developing past that point in your life, you have social norms and female companionship to consider now. Who knows, though? He might have a woman just as messed up in the cortex as he is. Maybe she dresses up like Catwoman for him, and they drive around town looking for criminally insane clowns. One thing's for sure—this dark knight definitely isn't rising anytime soon.
16 When You Drop a Prodigy Child on His Head
This is probably the same guy that built a small-scale replica of a Tesla Roadster out of Lego blocks or made a bust of President Obama from cheese slices. These are individuals who have substantial intelligence and ability but just usually put them into areas that are completely useless. I'm assuming this vehicle is at least part Corvette. The other parts, one can only guess as to what they are or where they came from. Like a cheesy rendition of a futuristic car in a 1980s flick, this thing is an anachronistic eyesore. Surely, the neighbors are sore about it, seeing as every property on the street is depreciating due to this Blade Runner movie prop. You would have to pay someone to take this car, and even then, the buyer would turn it into scrap metal and be done with it.
15 Caprice-iously Disturbing
What happens when an '87 Caprice breeds with a Huffy bicycle? I'm almost certain this thing isn't street-legal. I'm also fairly certain there's no air in the tires—that it's just a strip of rubber around these God-awful circus rims. Anything over 30 MPH, and surely, sparks start shooting. Another thing I'm seriously curious about is how this dimwit gets into the car, no side step or handle. Does he pull himself up to the floorboard of the car like a pathetically disabled sloth, or does he always have to walk around with a stepladder to get in, then reach down and pull it up? This is just stupid. Your car is stupid, the wheels are stupid, and you as a person, sir, are very, very stupid. Gas can, rag, and a Zippo—all I got for this piece of garbage you call a car.
14 Corvette SUV
It would be a great idea to turn your classic Corvette into an SUV! It can hold all the groceries plus all your possessions when your wife kicks you out after she sees what you did. Yes, this is just plain horrible what you've done to this Corvette. To do this is a mortal sin to the art of automobiles. Why your friends and family didn't stop you when you began this stupid project is beyond me. They're all enablers and are just as guilty of this travesty as you are. Sell this thing to someone who has the time and money to restore it back, and stick with your Honda Civic hatchbacks and your '80s model Suburbans. Leave the Corvettes for the big boys from now on, lest you decide to ruin another one at some point in the future.
13 Please Get a Vasectomy
The very idea behind owning a Camaro is that it goes fast, packs a lot of horsepower, and has a low center of balance to take sharp turns. This thing, for one, will tumble doing a turn over 30 MPH. As if that's not stupid enough, the whole thing is wrapped in chrome vinyl to match the atrociously large wheels. Will this thing blind everyone on the road, including the driver, in the summer months? Probably, and you can probably bet that it'll fry an egg right on top of the hood as well. Based on the logic of a windshield sunlight visor, I'm assuming the car won't get very hot inside, so that's one plus, although, after this mess they built, we need them to be locked in a hot car in the middle of summertime until they learn their lesson.
12 Extra-spicy Idiot
Look out, ladies and gentlemen. This El Camino is on fire! Isn't that cool? No, you're right. It's not. It's cool for about 15 seconds, and then it just becomes an eyesore. I like El Caminos, and I like fire as well. Memories of G.I. Joes and Gasoline Sundays always bring a smile to me. However, the two don't go together in terms of style. If this thing were actually on fire, it would be more aesthetically pleasing than what this is. It almost looks like a spicy-Cheeto covering that would have fat men licking the hood in hopes of tasting delicious cheesiness. A final note to this driver: "Highway to Hell" was just a song—and a metaphor at that. Grow up, and stop doing stupid things, sir.
11 Paintball Drive-by
One day, sir, you'll regret driving through the front of that Sherwin Williams store, regardless of your affinity for tie-dye. This acid trip/kaleidoscope of visual assault perfectly ruins this beautiful Corvette. How can anyone take them seriously anymore? If I pulled up next to this guy and he revved his engine, I would just laugh and watch him speed away. You've spray-painted a rottweiler neon pink, you've put a sunflower hairclip in Samuel L. Jackson's hair, you've put a Hello Kitty t-shirt on Stone Cold Steve Austin. This is just wrong, and may you be punished by karmic law for doing this! May you wake up in Dallas, Texas with no shoes and wearing a Bernie Sanders shirt! May you get intensively and very intimately searched at the airport on your way back home, you Corvette terrorist!
10 Bird Paint Job
You ever try to wipe bird droppings off your car, and it just seems to make swirls instead of coming off? Well, this whole paint job looks like that! It looks like a thousand hawks just swooped down and attacked this car with their bowels as the owner was trying to wipe it clean in a circular motion. Yes, it's horrible to look at; it's horrible to even think why it happened. Even more so, it's horrible for the resale value. This is wrong, this is wrong, and this man needs his automobile privileges snatched away A.S.A.P. Do something to fix this! Buy 1,000 bottles of whiteout, and fill in the gaps; a couple cans of black spray paint ought to do the trick as well (no huffing!). Please just stop doing this kind of stuff to innocent bystanders and regular folk who've done you no wrong, man.
9 Migraine Headache on 4 Wheels
Just when you thought it couldn't get any more ridiculous, here comes the Chevy Silverado/Astro Van. The interesting thing about this monstrosity is they actually extended the drive shaft back and connected it to the Silverado back end. This is a lot of work for little reward. I'm curious what this thing is called on the title and what the insurance company charges to cover it. I'm not even sure this is legal, to be honest, but who knows? What we do know is that there are people in this world you don't leave alone with a welding torch for too long, lest something like this happens. I'll never look at the Astrovan the same way again. I'll never look at people who do these kinds of things as entirely human as well, as this is behavior of sub-human quality.
8 Redneck Royalty
If Cadillacs, Lincolns, and even Hummers can be customized to be limousines, well then surely, a jacked-up truck can be, too, right, Buford? Well I'll be damned. This thing here is so horribly insane that it gets incredulous positive points. Whether a night out at the honky tonk, or to a livestock auction, this is made for a good ol' boy who want to ride like a king. Can't get to the front of the bar parking lot? That's okay; the driver can opt to just drive OVER the other cars to drop all his passengers off. Easy on the knees, though, when you hop down about 5 feet to the ground. If you have trouble getting in, just grab the handy stepladder in the back. But wait... you need a step stool to reach the stepladder...
7 Escalating Escalade Confusion
Phil Collins' "Land of Confusion" pops in my head for some reason as I look at this automobile. I guess, in some dimensions that I know nothing about, this Astro Van makes perfect sense. I'm not sure what dimension that is, but I hope to someone somewhere, this thing makes some level of sense. I know it doesn't, but one can always hope. Luxury on a budget maybe? This thing looks like a premature born Escalade. I don't know how much it cost to do this custom modification, but that money could've gone into saving for a real Escalade—or better yet, some books, so you won't be stupid anymore! Good luck with life. You're gonna need it.
6 Suburban Nightmare
What's cooler than a big Suburban with a lift kit? How about just turning it into a commercial vehicle by dropping the body onto the back of a dump truck? Guys, I honestly can't put this thing down. As unsightly as it may seem, this thing probably boasts over 600 HP and took countless hours to pull it off. How they got a Suburban dashboard to work with the commercial truck, I have no idea. This thing is unsightly—but impressive nonetheless. Think of how much weight this thing can pull as well. It can probably pull a freight ship on a trailer. It makes the list, and it's ugly, but i don't care—I like it. I wonder if it takes a commercial driver's license to drive it?
5 Why Birth Control Is Important
Yeah, you're just as special as can be. Extended cab didn't quite satisfy you on your jacked up Silverado, so you extended it even more! Never mind trying to park the damn thing— just put it on the grass or on top of some IED's if you see them. Again, we run into the conundrum of "How the hell do you get into and out of this thing without being Tarzan?" You know what? I don't even care. Surely, by now, for this person, natural selection has taken him out of society for good. If only the world worked that way... Sadly, evolution seems to be going in the wrong direction lately. Thumbs down! Get that thing off the road, and slap your mother for giving birth to you, you imbecile!
4 Where's Scooby?
You would've gotten away with it if it weren't for those meddling kids, right? Well, sir, consider yourself caught. You know, horrible paint job aside, I get what you were trying to do here, but you need to know that when you're under the influence of mind-altering substances, it tends to affect your artistic ability as well—in a bad way. Did you just use your little sister's finger paints to do this? Is this even your van, or did you do this to your parents' van? We need some answers here, buddy. This type of visual crime can't go unanswered. You have some explaining to do to us, your dad, your priest, and finally, yourself.
3 Fire Truck
I want you to know that I hate you for being so stupid, sir. The sheer depth of your stupidity angers me to the point where I curse you and wish ill on you. Stupidity like yours, combined with the fact that you apparently work for the Fire Department, worries me. If you're so dumb you made this thing here, how can we trust you with more important matters? Okay, so maybe I don't HATE hate you, but this thing is atrocious with no artistic value whatsoever. It should be parked in the next burning building and left there to incinerate. It's the right thing to do, sir, and you know it.
2 Malibu's Most Wanted
I want to thank you, sir, for giving people all over the world a perfect example of what an idiot's car looks like. You even added '90s tribal tattoo designs on the side just so we know that's exactly what you're trying to do. Please, since the photographs are already taken, drive this canary yellow thing into your nearest lake or creek and walk away with a new page on life. This is the automobile manifestation of pure ugly. This is the stuff that makes parents disown their children and marriages break apart. This is just wrong as wrong can be, and you should get an award for how ugly this thing is. Well, I suppose you did somehow get an award by making this list.
1 Set Sail For Stupid!
This one takes the prize for many reasons. An Astro Van that can also go on water and with a little ferry wheel in the back propelled by the bicycle on top—points for creativity and ingenuity! But you make number one of the list for the absolute absurdity of it all. I suppose you'll have the last laugh if there's flooding in your area or if the ice caps finally melt. One thing I'm curious about is if you register this as a car or as a boat or as both. How are you covered by insurance, and what made you build this machine to show mankind? Impressive, and I can't say I don't want to take it for a fishing trip. Just slide the van door open and throw out your line. We can even start the engine and have AC blowing ice cold around us while we fish!
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