You might think that a Ford Crown Victoria from the 1990s and early 2000s is the perfect demolition derby car. If so, you're dead mistaken. This generation of Crown Vics is now a cultural icon of their period and deserves to be preserved in as many numbers as possible. Happily, though, the generation of Crown Victoria before the famous 90's version is a car we wouldn't mind smashing to pieces. The LTD Crown Victorias weren't even close to the bulletproof powerhouses their successors were, but still had all the aspects that make for a great demo-derby machine.
Here's why these days, the LTD Crown Victoria's only useful purpose is a demolition derby car.
Malaise At Its Worst
It took American auto manufacturers almost 30 years to recover from the trauma of the first oil crisis. The story's been told time and time again; once upon a time in the wonderful nostalgia trip that was the 1960s, muscle cars ruled the road in America, and all was wonderful. Then, oil-producing nations of the world banded together and abruptly brought everything crashing down. That's actually a gross under explanation of what actually happened. Still, the point is, for a period of roughly a quarter-century, the big 3 in Detroit looked like headless chickens as they scrambled to meet new, harsher emission standards.
The LTD Crown Victoria was itself the successor to the original LTD line, which stretched back to 1965. It's also one of the worst examples of American manufacturers being completely unable to get themselves together as Japanese and European imports cannibalized them throughout the 70s and 80s. The emissions choked 5 liter Windsor V8 which came with LTD Crown Vic, producing a flat out unacceptable 160 horsepower. This means the nearly two-ton behemoth does 0 to 60 in eleven seconds, that's right, eleven. There was also a station wagon available. We don't want to even imagine how slow that thing must've been. The handling of the LTD Crown Vic was sloppy and numb even for American cars from the 1980s.
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On top of that, the LTD Crown Vics were hideously difficult to work on, requiring hours of labor to do simple repairs like replacing the water pump. If you really want to laugh at how badly these old Fords used to be built, go to YouTube and watch Jeremy Clarkson's classic roasting of a Lincoln Town Car, which shares a platform with the LTD Crown Victoria. So the LTD Crown Victoria was pretty useless as an efficient form of transportation, but all of the things that make it hopeless on the road also make it perfect for something a lot more fun than daily driving.
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Only Good For Smashing
There are a couple of things that make a car suitable for demolition derbies. The most important one is picking a vehicle that's well past its usefulness. Demo-derbies are all about the spectacle, not destroying perfectly good daily drivers. Since the LTD Crown Vic was so unreliable and so hard to work on, it means there's still a stockpile of disused derby ready cars sitting in junkyards and garages across America. Ford produced over one million LTD Crown Victorias, so we don't think it should be too hard to find the demo derby car of your dreams for a very reasonable price on places like Craigslist and Facebook marketplace.
The LTD makes for a great four thousand pound battering ram on wheels for how objectively bad it was as a car. The hysterically primitive body on frame construction means the LTD's frame is stronger than newer unibody cars it may compete against. A live rear axle and leaf-spring rear suspension actually provide better traction in mud bogged demolition derby arenas. This means that the car can hook up its tires on loose surfaces while newer front-drive cars struggle to gain enough momentum to make a big impact. Say what you will about the anemic Windsor V8, but these engines have plenty of low-end torque, which goes a long way on loose mud. Taking a saw to the exhaust is always recommended to make this engine absolutely scream. Despite being a pain in the neck to maintain, none of that matters when you're bashing into the back of a ford focus. Assuming the car isn't totally rusted out, chances are good that you'll be able to survive the derby to the end.
Too many videos exist online of people taking iconic 1990's Crown Victorias and thrashing them in demolition derbies. We bring you this alternative in the hope that as many Crown Victorias can be saved as possible. In a way, this list serves two purposes, to save as many Crown Victorias are saved and also to rid this country of excess LTD's
Sources: AutoBlog.com, Supermotors.com, Buffalocars.com