V8 is supposed to be about power; loads of throaty, rumbly, seductive power, and of course, speed. Loud, fast, and usually American-made muscle can get us all excited, enough to long for a classic in the garage.
But are all V8s truly up to the mark? Are they all fast and cool and make you want to drive on endless roads? Well, not exactly, although most of the bad eggs came from the time of the malaise era ‘70s. The time when the oil crisis, emission control, and a bad economy turned V8s into former shells of themselves.
Some of the slowest V8-powered cars came later, so it's not as if only the ‘70s vomited out poor power. But before you put down for a V8, here go the slowest V8-powered cars we’re staying away from, and maybe you should too, considering these aren’t cars that will thrill you with speed or acceleration.
10 1980 Chevrolet Corvette C3 ‘California’: Slowpoke ‘Vette
A Corvette that hits 0-60 MPH in 7.6 seconds does not sound like your dream car or even America’s darling sports car. But in 1980, the only Corvette that was available in California did just that. It still carried a V8, only it was an emasculated 5.0-liter one, mated to a prehistoric 3-speed automatic gearbox.
The speedometer came fitted to an insulting 85 MPH maximum limit, which means this is the slowest V8-powered Corvette on Earth. While it may look pretty, looks do not a fast car make.
9 1971 Imperial LeBaron: Jabba The Hutt Luxury
The Imperial LeBaron sounds royal and it's a royal pain in the patootie, given the fact that it can hit 0-60 MPH in a painful 9.3 seconds. Horses can go faster, maybe even mules. It was one a glorious car but in the ‘60s, corporate styling had turned it into an ugly, oversized flaccid piece of muscle.
The 7.2-liter V8 was ineffectual in a car this size, and, the car was not built to go fast either. The insides were like a tacky casino, and it was the worst example of automobile engineering. And one of the slowest V8-powered cars of its time.
8 Ferrari Mondial: V8-Powered Economy ‘Rari
When you think of Ferrari, you think of fast-powered and finish-line dedicated cars. But please, pray, do not think of the Mondial this way. This slowest V8-powered car from Ferrari bore a 3.0-liter and ran 0-60 MPH times that would shame a sports car. 9.3 seconds was its daily walk of shame, and we still do not get how Ferrari let this one slip.
Perhaps Ferrari was looking to slow down and smell the flowers? Either way, the Mondial is pretty, if you like wedge-cars but slow enough to make you cry.
7 1976 Plymouth Volare Road Runner: The V8-Powered Sloth
The Plymouth Volare Roadrunner was so not the sharpest knife on the block. It was one of the slowest V8-powered cars of its time that looked like million bucks, but also rusted if you looked at it wrong. And it leaked, as it did its counterpart, the Dodge Aspen.
With the malaise era firmly in place, Dodge held on to the Plymouth name for as long as it could and milked it long after it had run dry. The 5.2-liter V8 in the Volare Roadrunner had it crawl from 0-60 MPH in a painful 10.7 seconds.
6 1979 Dodge Magnum: Heaviest, Slowest V8-Powered Car
The good thing is that the Dodge Magnum was around for only two production years. The bad thing is that it lasted two production years. A sporty-looking biggish two-door, the Magnum was heavy, at about 3,800 pounds.
The 5.9-liter B8 sounded magnum, but in name only. The 195 horses could only take the Magnum 0-60 MPH in a slow 11 seconds. So this is not the classic car to joyride in for it cannot overtake traffic being the slowest V8-powered car on the road.
5 1980-82 Mercury Cougar XR7: V8-Powered Scaredy Cat
The Mercury Cougar sounded the part and kind of looked it too. A big, bad muscle car ready to take on the road and initially, it was a cool pony to have and own. But by the ‘80s, it was turned bigger and like the ‘Mustang, touted as a personal luxury car.
The V8s began to lose gumption and the Cougar turned from a growly pony into one of the slowest V8-powered cars that took 11 seconds to get from 0-60 MPH. Not cool, Cougar.
4 1976 Cadillac Eldorado: Underpowered V8 Heavyweight
The Eldorado is a cruiser, big, heavy, and quite a samurai at 5,000 pounds. Now obviously, it comes powered with a V8, and frankly, with an 8.2-liter displacement, it's massive. The problem is the whale of a car, which took 13.5 seconds to go from 0-60 MPH.
While the Eldorado is a stunner, it's more like a land barge, a ferry instead of a motorboat. You would get plenty of second looks in it but win no races at all. And if that’s okay, then this slow V8-powered car could be in your garage. As long as you have a very big garage.
3 1980 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme: Supremely Slow V8-Powered
The Cutlass was downsized in the ‘80s as well, and sadly, other than the strange dimensions, it also took on an engine that came to Earth from the very depths of hell. The 5.0-liter diesel V8 had been made in a hurry, carbon-copying the gasoline V8 and basically, it steamed and sparked itself into a melted mess.
The ‘80s Olds diesel engine nearly killed Oldsmobile as a brand and if you are still hung-up on speed, it took 14 seconds for the Cutlass Supreme to hit 60 MPH from a standstill. Has the be the slowest V8-powered car, and the worst one.
2 1982 Ford Thunderbird: Dude, Where My Torque?
It's not always low horsepower that makes for one of the slowest V8-powered cars, there's also the torque. Rather, in the case of the Ford Thunderbird, there was no torque. The 4.2-liter V8 managed only 120 horses, and 209 ft-lb of torque.
In a car that weighed 4,000 pounds, this was paltry. And so was the acceleration. To get from 0 to 60 MPH, the T-bird took an excruciating 18 seconds. Enough said but if you still need it said, this was the slowest V8-powered car under the Thunderbird nameplate.
1 1981 Cadillac Seville Diesel: The Slowest V8-Powered Car, Period
When it comes to the Cadillac Seville, the one with a diesel engine, pressing the pedal to the metal did not give you the thrilling results you thought you’d get. This 4,200-pound car took nearly 20 seconds (19.5 to be exact) to reach 60 MPH.
The Olds Diesel V8, all 5.7-liters of it aged even before it was launched, and killed many a cool car because it awful sloth-like performance. Thankfully, Caddy never called the Seville a muscle car, because that would have been a bit too much for the slowest V8-powered car from Cadillac.
Sources: CarandDriver, Jalopnik