With styling, only a gargoyle could love and the driving dynamics of a brick on wheels, the aptly-named Gremlin was a low point in US car design – the wonder is that people actually bought them in droves.
Some vehicles like the Austin Mini changed the design of the city car forever. Others, like the Ford Model T and the Austin 7, transformed society by making motoring accessible to the masses.
But others were so tragically ill-conceived and poorly executed that they should be consigned to the dustbin of automotive history. One such car is the AMC Gremlin from the 1970s.
Gremlin By Looks, Gremlin By Nature
It was an ugly, poor-handling, and rust-prone gas guzzler, but there were still compelling reasons for building it. Struggling with a lack of finance, falling sales, and a lackluster model range, AMC decided that the only way to survive would be to grab a slice of the sub-compact market, a lucrative sector that accounted for annual sales of one million cars in the US alone.
In light of this, it’s difficult to understand why a car company would want to name a vehicle after a clownish creature that sabotages machinery, but the marketing men at AMC must have thought that if it worked for the hugely successful Volkswagen Beetle – the ‘Bug’ – then it would also work for them.
AMC green-lighted the project faster than it takes to spring an oil leak. Legend has it that designer Dick Teague sketched the car’s design on the back of an airline sick-bag during a business trip. If that isn’t ironic enough for you, the big knobs at AMC also decided to launch the car on April Fool’s Day in 1970.
Now, that’s what you call chutzpah.
Essentially the Gremlin was an AMC Hornet with the back sliced off, but it was done in such a ham-fisted way that the subsequent fastback shape looked awful. There was no practical reason for doing this as the car didn’t have a rear tail gate, and access to the tiny boot was only possible using the optional – yes, optional – ‘flip-up’ rear window.
Hard though it is to believe, the Gremlin’s hideous looks were not the car’s worst feature. It’s important to understand that this was AMC’s attempt at creating a vehicle for the masses, hence the cost-cutting measures, which included (and it’s hard to say this about a car that was made in the world’s richest country) vacuum-assisted windscreen wipers.
If You Think Its Looks Aren't Cool, Wait Until You See The Engine
Under the bonnet, a heavy cast-iron straight-six struggled to fill the unnecessarily large engine bay, and the best it could muster was around 18 MPG, which was woeful considering that it was billed as an economical car.
Acceleration was acceptable, as it could reach 0-60 MPH in about 10 seconds, with a later 5.0–liter V8 version shaving a second or two off that, but it was a small reward as the car handled so badly, largely due to its solid axle and agricultural rear leaf suspension.
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In an emergency stop, the spongy brakes coupled with the car’s tendency to dive at the front and swing out at the back gave the impression that real live gremlins were hard at work. Excessive body roll meant that cornering was essentially a journey into the unknown, while the three-speed stick shift was bizarrely located beyond the reach of a normal driver so that only a person with the arms of a chimpanzee could reach the lever comfortably.
Among the exciting colors to choose from, there was (urine) gold, (poop) brown, and (vomit) green. AMC’s final touch was to adorn the fuel cap with a chrome Gremlin logo. They might as well have stuck a badge with a two-fingered salute.
AMC had the last laugh despite the vehicle's downsides. By the time production ended in 1978, the company had sold more than 670,000 of the hellish cars. What’s more, the Gremlin had found its way into the hearts of Americans, particularly with first-time buyers and students on a budget.
You Want A Second-Hand Gremlin? Seriously?
Astonishingly, second-hand prices aren’t cheap, although you can get your hands on a grubby one for peanuts. A quick search on the internet revealed a 1972 model with 34,555 miles on the clock going for as much as $45,183. If that sounds too much – and obviously, it does - the average price tends to be between $8,000 and $13,000.
The most sought-after examples are the V8-powered models and the ‘Levi’ edition, so named as the seats are trimmed in - what else - blue denim. An interesting feature of this version is that the trim also includes the rivets, which tend to sizzle passengers’ backsides on hot days.
It begs the question as to whether you would want to buy one. There are no intelligent reasons for doing this, of course, but there are loyal fans of the car out there, including comedian Jeff Dunham who owns two (one’s on permanent standby to replace the one that breaks down, Jay Leno reckons).
On a kinder note, let’s not forget there are cars out there that are as bad to drive and even uglier. Just take a look at the SsangYong Radius and the Pontiac Aztek, a car that has inspired drug pushers the world over thanks to the TV series, Breaking Bad.
There appears to be a pattern here.