Car buyers have always gravitated towards faster cars, and modern automotive technology means the average buyer can now access more horses than ever. It's a never-ending race between manufacturers who can provide the model with the best stats. That means that today, even the most mundane vehicles have capabilities that would have seemed very impressive just a few decades ago.
The Chrysler Pacifica, for example, is one of America's best-selling minivans. In top-spec Limited trim, it has a 0-60 mph time of 7.4 seconds. That's pretty average by today's standards, but it's fast enough to beat many classic sports cars off the line. From Porsches to Ferraris, there's a whole host of gorgeous and desirable sports classics out there that would lose in a drag race to a modern Pacifica. Let's take a look at ten of the greatest retro performance machines that, despite their sporty looks, are slower than a modern minivan.
10 Porsche 911 (912E) - 11.3 Seconds
Porsche has always offered a variety of trims for their signature 911 line, with those trims vastly affecting the performance of the car. One notably underpowered variant of the 911 was the 912E, which had a measly 90 hp.
It was introduced as a stop-gap model for 1976 only and was powered by a flat-four engine lifted straight from VW's regular car range. As a result, the car could only achieve a 0-60 time of 11.3 seconds.
9 Lotus Esprit S1 - 7.8 Seconds
It may have been able to drive underwater in The Spy Who Loved Me, but on land, the Lotus Esprit wasn't quite as impressive as in the film. The first-generation Esprits left the factory with an official 0-60 of 6.8 seconds, but road testers only managed to achieve a best of 7.8 seconds.
The top speed of the original Esprit was also only 124 MPH, which was slow for a sports car even in the '70s. It's safe to say James Bond wouldn't have been impressed with the real-world performance of the Lotus.
8 Mercedes-Benz 450SL - 10.2 Seconds
A classic German sports barge, the 450SL was designed more as a sporty luxury cruiser than an all-out performance machine. The car housed a 4.5-liter V8, but it was tuned for smooth acceleration rather than speed.
This meant an uninspiring 10.2-second 0-60 time. Thankfully, the Merc's hand-crafted interior and stunning drop-top looks saved the 450SL from joining the ranks of disappointing sports cars made during the period.
7 Ford Mustang Mach 1 - 8.2 Seconds
It's both famous and very desirable, but the '70 Mach 1 Mustang definitely isn't fast. Certainly not by modern standards at least, as its 0-60 time of 8.2 seconds means many best-selling minivans could overtake it at the lights.
It's instead desirable as an iconic piece of American muscle, and it's an undeniably head-turning car even today. Given its lack of power, anyone staring at one of these as it passes should at least have plenty of time to admire its design.
6 Jaguar E-Type S1 - 7.6 Seconds
When Jaguar released the E-Type it was claimed to have a number of class-leading performance stats, including a sub-seven second 0-60 time. But when reviewers tested the car, they found that number was largely an exaggeration.
With road tires on, Autocar reported a more realistic figure of 7.6 seconds for the E-Type. That was still fast, but not quite as revolutionary as Jaguar had claimed it to be. Nevertheless, the E-Type went on to become immensely popular and is still held in very high regard today.
5 MG Midget - 14.3 Seconds
The MG Midget is a cult British classic and still has a place in the hearts of many older sports car enthusiasts today. It was a much more affordable option than many other sports cars of the time, while still being fun to drive.
Unfortunately, the Midget is painfully slow, with the crawl to 60 MPH taking a whole 14.3 seconds. For reference, even the Mitsubishi Mirage, one of the slowest cars on the market right now, can manage 0-60 in 12 seconds. Ouch.
4 Datsun 240Z - 8.6 Seconds
It was an affordable import that revolutionized the US market when it was released, but the Datsun 240Z pales in comparison to modern cars. A 0-60 time of 8.6 seconds isn't bad, but it's no different than a regular modern hatchback.
Speed isn't really the point of owning one of these cars today though. It's more the fact that it's a car with a huge choice of aftermarket parts, and it's a piece of automotive history that really changed the image of Japanese imports on US soil.
3 1969 Chevrolet Corvette C3 - 8.4 Seconds
The C3 Corvette Stingray could hit 60 mph around the low 5-second mark, making it genuinely quick even today. Non-Stingray models were significantly slower, with a regular C3 taking 8.4 seconds.
That's part of the reason it's much more likely to see a Stingray C3 at a car show than a base model one. Some owners have even been known to add Stingray logos onto their base C3s to make the car seem faster than it is.
2 DeLorean DMC-12 - 10.0 Seconds
DeLorean's DMC-12 didn't live up to expectations in many ways, with the build quality of a bad economy car and the price tag of a performance car. Objectively it just wasn't good, but its role in Back to the Future has secured its place in popular culture.
Many of DeLorean's claims about the car were found to be exaggerated, with one of these being the 8.5 second 0-60 time. Most owners couldn't get their cars anywhere close to that, and reportedly even reaching 60 mph within 10 seconds was very difficult.
1 Ferrari 308 GTB - 7.9 Seconds
The 308 GTB has some of the best classic Ferrari proportions of any model, and prices for examples are at a historic low at the moment. As far as prancing horses go, it's a bit of a bargain, but not for its performance.
The 308 can only achieve a 0-60 time of 7.9 seconds, and while that's not slow, it's certainly not the pace most people associate with a Ferrari. It's got all the classic hallmarks of a true Italian classic, as long as owners don't mind losing to a Pacifica minivan in a straight line.