If you’re finding that you’re still single and worried that you’re going to miss out on some sort of “biological clock” nonsense, fear not. There’s no such thing as a biological clock—don’t believe everything you read on the internet. (There are also aliens tapping into your broadband connection and monitoring your browser history, for whatever that’s worth to you.)

The truth behind it comes from a perceived urgency for everyone to hit certain physiological milestones while they are in their prime. But you still have a long way to go if you’re not shacked up and chained down already. And with the proliferation of the internet into the fabric of our everyday communication, the selection of potential mates may seem endless (what are you even complaining about?)

With such a massive selection at your fingertips, how do you choose a good mate? Alternatively phrased, “How do you know if YOU are a good mate? (Would you swipe right on you?) They say, “Never judge a book by its cover.” I say, “Humans didn’t survive this long by manually processing every input we receive!"

The truth is, you get judged at face value hundreds of times per day, whether you know it or not. So you might as well try to look good doing it; you never know who might be watching. If your daily ride looks anything like what you see below, you’re a catch! (Go update your profile right now, and tell everyone we said so.)

19 Shanghai Tumbler

The geography says most of what you need to know about this rip-off bat-rod. With red rims and rattle-can matte paint, it’s about as ratty as you can get. We call it Shanghai shenanigans! But, no matter how hard we may laugh, 26-year old builder Li Weilei is laughing even harder! That’s because while the internet sits here and laughs at him between online videos and rounds of Battlefield, he’s out there in the sun, spraying, and painting, cutting and grinding. What you’re actually looking at is an enterprising young man who’s found a way to turn 11 tons of scrap metal into residual income from unauthorized Tumbler rentals. Yup, he rides a razor-thin intellectual property line so narrow that you can’t even be mad at the guy.

18 Rod Coverdale’s Movie Cars

Some guys can choose just one course of action and stick with it. Others cannot. Of the latter group, when you already know you have a weakness for indulgence, it helps to just “give in” early and save yourself a long, arduous struggle later; you always lose that battle anyway, right? Rod’s weakness is “movie cars” and he has more of them than Universal Studios at this point. You could probably make the best cameo compilation ever with what he has in just one of his sheds. Speaking of sheds, that’s what these chaps call garages—and he has three, by the way. Four, if you count the one out back hiding his Lamborghini. Whether your vice is Mad Max, Smokey and the Bandit, Biff Tannen, or Batman, Rod's got something for you.

17 Gigawatt Drive

When it needs to be done right, and attention to detail is imperative, sometimes you just need to pull out the big guns. Ollie Wilkey knew that if he wanted to get the DeLorean that he’d always hoped for and dreamed of, it was going to take more than his erector set assembling skills to get the job done right. As it would turn out, the only person that could do it right was an ex-NASA electrical engineer. With him in Florida and the DeLorean in Britain, things got a bit complicated—but Ollie wasn’t going to get his authentic replica time traveler any other way! That’s some serious baby-raising dedication right there (requiring multiple trips across the Atlantic Ocean).

16 Miyan Lambo

Different trades give us different skills with which to work in life. Some of us can etch a Michelangelo onto a canvas with nothing more than a Prismacolor graphite pencil but couldn’t cook an over-easy egg to save our lives. Old Guo, this 50-year-old farmer from Zhengzhou, appears to have a handle on much more than just farming. Although the engineering is rough, the fabrication is top-notch for a backyard build like this. There are three prototype Lamborghinis in total, all with functional brakes, headlights, and windshield wipers; no safety detail was left unattended. After all, the whole reason he built them was to keep his grandson safe on the way to school.

15 Supernatural

There is no shortage of four-door Impalas floating around the world. They’ve been the proverbial “ugly sister” that nobody wanted anything to do with until somebody took a bet and made her prom queen (or however that typical Hollywood plotline ended up unfolding after I left the theater). But ever since the Supernatural franchise took the literal-world by storm, the popularity of the 1967 four-door seemed to inflate like a hot air balloon. Where you could once get decent drivers—albeit a bit rough, in running condition, and with ok paint—for only a few thousand, you're now lucky to pick up an unsalvageable rust bucket for the same price. If you’re willing to fight against inflated odds, the four-door Impala makes a great family car!

14 Mega City Mover

Apparently, this is what the taxis of 2139 will look like. (Sorry to break it to you, but everyone still relies on pneumatic tires and incandescent illumination). We always admire the brash ambiguity of the stylized “cars of the Future!” They invariably feature some wacky combination of unnecessary angular geometry; always trying to simulate the future with a few wild lines. Since Mega City One is so dangerous, it makes sense to bolster some armor plating on your taxi (because armor is always a good idea). But the coolest thing about this little taxi cab-over is its distinguished movie role. It was one of only two “cabs” to get registered for legal road use because what kind of “keeper” doesn’t have an armored military chassis sitting on his front lawn.

13 Cardboard Cutaway

Ever felt like you needed to reinvent a perfectly good wheel, just to see if it worked better made out of cardboard? Neither have we. If something works well enough, we’re inclined to just leave it to its own devices. Such is not the case with the cardboard Lexus though, not when you could turn 2,000 laser-cut pieces of corrugated cardboard into a luxury car! What purpose does this serve? We’re still trying to figure this out, but if someone can build a car with cardboard, imagine what could happen if you put some “real” building materials in his hands! (That’s someone you want hanging around the house.)

12 Bunk Bus

Nothing says love like an Ikea bunk bed with some vintage flavor. This daddy went above and beyond the call of duty (and you know it was a dad, too). Moms would just put a generic “car” shape on the side of the bedrail and call it a day. But dad? He had to source a blade style bumper, four hubcaps, and a steering wheel to authenticate his plywood pan. There is only one small tear in the fabric of his master plan—it doesn’t fit in the house like this. While it’s easy to assume that might be an oversight, it’s also an alternatively genius way to keep the kids outside at night.

11 Rock Dog

You’ve not seen very many things like this before, if you can even say that much. This prototype rock crawler is one in a series of specialized machines built by the same mad scientist, with every succession being fiercer than the previous version. Rock crawling is starting to embrace the finer principles of hydraulics for more than just stopping power and we have to say, the results are stunning! Each suspension arm is mounted on a compound pivot at the frame attach point, allowing it to pivot outward as well as up and down. Hydraulic rams actuate the legs manually and independently because “Baby there ain’t no mountain hiiiiiiiigh enough, ain't no valley low enough...”

10 Hoonitruck

When you’ve run out of things to perpendicularly slide around a hairpin corner, you need to start getting creative. The Hoonitruck is a product of the unrestrained creativity that only manifests after almost every other option had been extinguished. Ken Block has drifted just about anything you can drift—and plenty of things you shouldn’t—but when all that got old, he decided to turn to his childhood for inspiration. Having the fortune to relive a childhood dream with 900 horses screaming through the drivetrain, he took a page from his dad’s book. This meant he needed to find a 1977 Ford F-150 (like what he grew up in) and essentially put a special Raptor engine in it; a Ken Block Special.

9 Rusty Burnout

This is one of the most polarizing E28s you’re ever going to see. Purists hate it like it was done to their own, muscle car guys don’t like it because it;s foreign, and foreign guys don’t like it because it has muscle. All the while, Rusty just calmly hits the deck and slides under semi-trailers to get where he needs to go. All of this came from a persistent determination to save this E28 after a fire thoroughly ravaged its former glory. The extensive scope of work could only take the car so far, however, and it’s left largely in a state of afterburn as it slowly transgresses through automotive taboos and sore spots on its way to wherever this guy is taking it.

8 M62 Hurricane

This is what you get when Soviet sorcery meets a few commercial insurance claims and a cutting torch. It was the perfect storm: you had a wrecked DM62 diesel-electric locomotive, a customized Uragan mobile rocket launcher platform, and man crazy enough to want to put the two together. It was a complete fusion of two incompatible technologies. The diesel generators generated power for the traction motors mounted in the wheels, which would, in turn, drive them. It worked great until they started it up! Mechanical deficiencies would eventually shelve the project before it would ever see any real glory, but it still gets an “A” for vision. (That’s a pretty monumental challenge, to begin with.)

7 Mobile Mortar

When “homemade” doesn’t even begin to describe what you’re doing with your life, you may be a rebel resistance fighter. If your Geely LC super-subcompact Panda finds a mortar rigged to a tow package with duct tape and chicken wire, you may be a rebel resistance fighter. If you neglect to perform pre-trip inspections because your mortar chassis only has six lug nuts between both of the five-lug wheels they are mounted to, you may be a rebel resistance fighter. If you have to jockey your child’s car seat around the howitzer ordinance floating around your backseat (assuming you even use a car seat), you may be a rebel resistance fighter. If looking at this picture makes you proud (…you get the point).

6 Salt Flat Racer

Salt flat racing is something of a legacy sport. There’s a rich racing history beneath the hard-packed salt that allures drivers and custom builders from all over the country. They come to test their steel against the unforgiving clock in an all-out battle for bragging rights. It’s all straight-line racing and it takes everything you got, one shot, one chance to blow! The awesome thing about it is that anything goes (within reason, of course). Whether you have a 1932 Ford roadster with some pie cutters and a small block or an ultra-rare 300SL, there’s a place for you there. Salt flat racing is for the guys (and girls) who like to play the long game.

5 Goliath 2.0

Goliath is one of the meanest pro-street Novas on the road (and there are some pretty mean Novas out there). The tires tuck so deep into the tubs, you have trouble fathoming how the tops of them don’t punch through the package tray under the window. It’s as close to a real race car as this Nova could have possibly gotten. Some of you are already noting the beautiful lack of structural support between the front and rear windows (which are Plexiglas now). There lies the beauty of the whole thing. Nova guys know the whole “post verses no post” debate and Big Daddy Dave here seems to be on the correct side of that argument! (That’s how you know he’s trustworthy!)

4 Sick Seconds 2.0

Sick Seconds 2.0: because that’s what you do when you build a custom car that’s so ridiculously sick, it gains instant acclaim amongst peers and on the internet but then you go and build a better one later on down the line and want to keep the name you invented. (Add a 2.0.) Sick Seconds, in any of its variants, is absolutely wild; from the massive stretch job on the extended chassis to the custom fiberglass that wraps around it, there’s nothing about this car that you don’t want. There’s also nothing about this car that you could handle; it’s a 4,000-hp, 300-mph, five-second quarter-mile car. (And it’s street legal. Figure that one out.)

3 EBS Racing Starlet

It’s dubbed the “Circuit Slayer” and for no good reason! As you can see, the Toyota Starlet was never anything to run around bragging about; not from the factory, anyway. Even the ultimate reliability Toyota is known for couldn’t make up for the homely looks and anemic performance. Peter Schey didn’t expect much either, but that wasn’t going to deter him from having the baddest pavement-pounding Starlet in the entire world. With a fully-custom tube chassis circumnavigating the entirety of the hollowed-out body shell, a perfect platform was then set for the 300-hp 3SGE four-cylinder to tear up any local autocross event—as long as he has avgas, that is. Anybody performing wizardry at that level is a keeper!

2 Mow-Town Mow Down

You’ve probably never fancied yourself a lawnmower enthusiast before; most people could probably go the entirety of their lives without thinking about a lawnmower. and be perfectly content. But there’s a lawnmower war going on in your backyard and it’s getting pretty intense! By intense, we’re talking 190-hp intense. (To properly frame this, your typical John Deere is putting out around 19.) It all started when Honda, as a joke, made a record-setting “Mean Mower” and established a 116-mph land-speed record for ride-on lawnmowers with it. Then, somebody else built one of their own and set a NEW record at 133.57 mph. This was Honda’s response. A precision-engineered grass cutter with the power-to-weight ratio of a Koenigsegg One:1. That’s called supreme dedication to yard work efficiency!

1 Bill Bratts Collection

Unless you live on a field, you likely don’t possess the real estate required to park this massive entourage of muscle. Bill Pratt, former chairman of Port Vale Football Club, does have the real estate; or had, anyway. Many of these beauties (52 of them) went up for auction when his personal-collection-turned-public-museum was getting too large to accommodate. He built his first car in his backyard, so the name “Bill’s Backyard Classics” just seemed to fit perfectly. Bill wanted to inspire emotion with auto-Americana, and contrast technologies of yesterday with today's. You can just about find any fully-restored muscle car of your dreams there. (I shouldn’t have to explain why old Bill here is a keeper!)

Sources: The Motor Hood, Koenigsegg, Car and Driver, Classic Car Journal, and Hot Rod Network