Anyone who leaves a note or letter or business card on a parked car is usually very angry. Their rage can either manifest itself in a passive-aggressive, condescendingly polite note, or a note that’s filled with cuss words and expletives. The most common reason that someone is left a note on their car is because they parked terribly. And it really does suck to see someone park terribly—taking up more spots than they need—because it means they care little for other people on the road.
Other times, people who leave notes on cars aren’t actually angry, but they want to make a statement or be heard: they lost something, they saw something, or they’re accusing you of something. And the lengths that these note-writers will go can be quite astounding.
Sometimes, people will literally make up a design, put it on a business card, find a printing place like Kinkos, and print out business cards that say what they’re thinking—just so they can put the business cards on people’s cars that are parked badly. The commitment (and money) that some of these note-writers go to is out of this world.
But many of the notes left on cars are hilarious. Some of them even seem “polite” at first glance, though it’s easy to read between the lines and see the true anger behind their words. Some of them tell riveting stories, always ending with a punch-line that gets their point across (which usually ends up being, “you suck at parking.”)
Here are 23 of the funniest notes ever left on cars.
23 Someone Saw Me Hit Your Car…
There are quite a few of these types of notes left on cars floating around. On one hand, it’s kind of sad because it shows that the writer is really not the best Samaritan. On the other hand, it’s hard not to laugh when you see one of these notes, that reads “Someone saw me hit your car so I’m leaving this note to look like I’m giving you my information.” Funny unless you’re the victims of the fender-bender, of course. I could see an angry driver going out of their way to track down the note-writer, via CCTV and cameras and such.
22 Office Space Reference
You have to appreciate the time and energy it must have taken for this angry parker to write and draw this note. It’s a play on the classic “that’d be greeeat” line repeated by Bill Lumbergh (played by Gary Cole) from the 1999 classic, Office Space. It’s an instantly recognizable phrase and picture for anyone that grew up in that era, though the reference might be lost on the younger generation. Even though it’s a stick figure drawing, it still has the steaming cup of coffee and we have to respect this note-writer’s way of blending comedy with anger.
21 Reasons Not To Give This Guy A Ticket
This one’s pretty hilarious, and it’s hard not to feel for the guy who wrote this note for parking attendants and meter maids to read. Who knows if it actually worked (we doubt it), but at least they made an effort! It reads “Please stop giving me tickets,” then lists the reasons why: he already has three this week, he has ordered a new sticker (probably the cause of the tickets). Luckily, if it’s just a sticker, in many states that ticket is just a fix-it, so as long as you can show that your car’s registered for the year to a cop, you shouldn’t get fined.
20 Parking Communication Win
This is a great love story in two short notes, both left on the same car—a call and response, if you will—between a driver and a parking official.” (We assume if the original note-writer had called the ticket giver a meter maid, they wouldn’t have been as lenient). It tells the story of a driver losing a key, trying to find it, and asking for pity. The follow-up (that looks to be written on the back of a ticket) says, “I sincerely hope you find your key. Consideration granted for today.” It’s dated in June 2013, but that’s an early Christmas present if I’ve ever seen one!
19 Trying To Take As Many Spots As Possible!
This is a sadly funny note written on pristine printing paper that’s never been bent before, and instead of containing a list of expletives for the bad parking job, the writer of the note tells a humorous story about a dog named Spot, pictured on the paper. It’s tongue-in-cheek and funny, and says, “I am giving you this dog, his name is Spot. I thought you might want him, as you seem to be trying to take as many spots as possible. I hope this helps.” A heartwarming way to show you the error of your parking ways.
18 Very Creepy Van
The owner of this vehicle probably feels a bit shamefaced—or maybe not, since they’re driving this van, after all—but the note-writer clearly doesn’t care. The note-writer signs off with “easily creeped out neighbor,” but that’s a pretty valid concern. They’re asking the owner of the van to park in front of a different house because their car is very creepy at night. If you saw the same creepy van parked in front of your house, night in and night out, you might make the same request!
17 Stay Inside the Lines
This passive-aggressive note probably left a sour taste in the mouth of the driver who found this tucked underneath their windshield wipers, but it was probably left for good reason. Again, at least it wasn’t a business card wishing all sorts of ill will on the driver, though it is very condescending and a bit disrespectful… to three-year-olds! It basically is saying the driver is not smart enough to park adequately, and they could learn a few things from a three-year-old, or by coloring this here turtle. Did the Spot-the-dog writer write this one, too?
16 Absolute British Brilliance
This note was clearly not left on a car in the United States, because no one would be this polite. Therefore, you might think it was written in Canada, but you’d be wrong. According to Bored Panda, it’s from Britain, and it’s a bit of brilliance, telling the driver on a sticky note that they need to “learn to park with manners,” and that they must think the note-writer is a “bloody sardine.” The joke being, of course, a play on the “packed in like sardines” phrase. Pretty clever.
15 Crazy Ferrets!
It’s hard to imagine the amount of anger this driver or pedestrian felt, so much that they felt the need to draw up a business card, find a printer, and probably have a whole bunch of these printed, just so they could put them on cars that parked terribly. It’s a level of commitment that most road-ragers can only dream of. It’s also very hilarious, telling the offender that they made “quite a parking job,” with the assumption that the driver parked while blind-folded and getting their privates clawed by a crazed ferret. Who comes up with this stuff?
14 Crime Doesn’t Pay
Not all heroes wear capes. The person who received this handwritten note must be freaking out a little, whether the cops are on the way or not. The secret sleuth note-writer doesn’t have the most legible handwriting, but it says, “I totally just watched you hit that car and leave. The police are on their way. Have a good one!” That means that not only did the note-writer witness the hit-and-run, but they then followed the car, waited for it to park again, and then left this note. That’s some commitment—and a bit dangerous. Please do not try this at home and do not follow random cars.
13 Today’s Parking Award Contest Winner
The driver of this particular car must have felt red-faced and extremely embarrassed when they walked into the parking garage or office and saw this picture and note plastered on every column. And they should feel embarrassed because that’s an embarrassing parking job. If every office had a contest like this, “Today’s parking contest award winner,” we have a feeling it would cut down on the amount of terrible parking jobs that ruins our collective mornings. It also ends with a little jab about how much better the driver must be than everyone else, which is a nice touch.
12 Angry English Teacher Or Logician?
This is a beautifully written note, both in its actual handwriting, and in its elegant prose. It makes you wonder if the writer of this note is an English teacher, a poet, or perhaps just a logician because this is some highbrow stuff. In case you can’t read cursive, it says, “When you park like a tool, you make people mad. When you make people mad, they write you notes. When they write you notes, they’re wasting their time. When they waste their time, they get more mad. Or is it madder? Now they’re doubting their grammar. Don’t make people doubt their grammar. Don’t park like a tool!”
11 The Inconsiderate Parker’s Prize
Here’s another genius note that condescendingly gives an award for the awful parking job of whoever was driving this vehicle. Obviously, this note was a long time coming, as it seems this small car was parked here for more than a month (“far longer than anyone else has achieved”), and after that long, the note-writer was fed up with seeing this bad parking job day in and day out. You can’t blame them for awarding the driver of this car the “inconsiderate parker’s prize.”
10 Imagine The Time It Took…
This is honestly one of the best things imaginable—it’s like out of a movie. It’s a note combined with… potato carvings! How long must it have taken to carve those potatoes?! And then to leave them on the hood of this car, it seems like a waste, but for the internet, it’s a complete win. It’s a story—an angry story of revenge—in which the driver has “angered the POTATO CLAN with your PARKING CHOICES! If you park in their space again they will bring out their PRODUCE ARMY! AHHHH!!!” Truly one of the funniest things ever left on an inconsiderate parker’s hood.
9 The Old “Passive-Aggressive Squirrel Mating” Trick
We have a feeling the writer of this note was much angrier than they let on—after all, it is hard to read subtext from words on a page, sometimes (just look at text messaging… a single period can add finality, or make it look like an utterly serious text). Anyway, the writer of this note felt it appropriate to inform the driver that “there were 2 squirrels mating on your car, just to let you know,” in an extremely passive-aggressive way. We can also assume the driver of this car was parked terribly because this isn’t something you write for no reason.
8 Passive-Aggressive Jehovah’s Witness Perhaps?
This is clearly an angry note—hence all the exclamation points—but it’s also strangely helpful and good advice from a potentially “good” Samaritan. It also looks like it’s been raining, which makes the message on this note all the more important. (Though it’s hard to imagine how this note ended up on the INSIDE of the person’s car, unless we’re mis-seeing this.) The angry missionary informs the driver that “Jesus might love you but your rear tyres are bald! This is illegal and very dangerous to you and other drivers! Sort it out!” With the spelling of “tires” and “sort it out,” we assume this took place in the UK.
7 Cat In The Engine With A Silver Spoon
This is a bit of sad news, and we sure are happy that the driver saw this note before doing anything rash—like starting their car! We also assume the note-writers were probably spying on the car for hours after leaving this note, so they could get back their furry feline friend. The note informs the owner of this car that “My cat crawled under your car hood, and is up in the engine. We can’t get her out without opening the hood.” It’s complete with a frowny face and a phone number.
6 Game Of Thrones Reference
We’ve already seen a reference from a popular movie (Office Space), and here’s one from an even more popular TV show. It’s hard not to see Game of Thrones references everywhere these days: in memes, stores, even other TV shows. In fact, “The Lannisters send their regards,” has become a meme in itself. It is a phrase that is said when the Lannisters (the antagonists, in a sense, on the show and in the books) get the upper hand on their enemies. Without spoiling things too much, it’s a reference to the iconic “Red Wedding” episode, in particular.
5 Don’t Bother!
You can’t blame the owner of this sad vehicle for being frank and blunt. You also can’t help but feel bad for them, as their car is already a mess. To add insult to injury, it seems like everyone was stealing things out of their broken window, so they put a piece of cardboard over it. It then tells the next would-be thief “Don’t bother. The good stuff is already stolen,” which makes us believe the driver has fallen victim to quite a few burglars in his or her time.
4 Low Blow For Stevie Wonder!
In case you live under a rock and don’t know who Stevie Wonder is, he’s one of the most famous musicians of the 20th century, and he also happens to be blind. And that’s where the joke comes in on this sticky note, alluding that the person who parked this car was taught to park by a guy who is blind. Stevie Wonder has been the butt of many blind jokes for years now, and it’s time we give him the benefit of the doubt and stop using his name in vain!
3 Passive-Aggressive Police Department
Anyone who leaves a note on a car is either passive-aggressive or aggressive-aggressive. There’s really no other reason to leave a note, and there’s no in between. The people who leave notes on cars are angry. But it also appears the entire police department in Dixon is a bit angry at the terrible situations the city’s drivers put themselves in, and they made their own bright orange, ticket-looking card just for such an occasion. It also has the added benefit of telling drivers that, if they were a criminal instead of the police, they could have done some terrible things, like “taken your purse.”
2 Just To Clear Up Any Confusion
This love story on an Ohio Avenue telephone poll is still a better love story than Twilight. It must have been a bit embarrassing to have to write this note, but good on the writer for doing it anyway, otherwise someone might think they have a stalker or secret admirer, and that can lead to creepy situations. On the other hand, maybe the person who received that original note was flattered and enamored with the idea that they had a secret love interest—they probably spent all night racking their brain, trying to figure out who loved them and left the note!
1 Giving Bus Riders A Bad Name
Here’s another business card that must have taken quite a bit of time (and money) to produce, but the owner of these cards obviously felt it was necessary so they could badmouth every terrible parker they came across. It actually kind of makes you want to have your own “bad parking” business cards. This one insults the parker, but in a kindly way, telling the driver that “people like you should take the bus,” and ending with the fine print that says, “please.. learn to park.”
Sources: Bored Panda, Pinterest, and The Telegraph.