SUVs were traditionally all-terrain capable vehicles that had been adapted to make them more friendly to drive and use every day. Many buyers still look at SUVs and associate them with being great on dirt, even though the reality is that many modern models are useless.
There are many reasons for an SUV being bad off-road. Some manufacturers focus on asphalt performance, and some design their cars for family hauling rather than mastering trails. In some cases, the car is simply no good at doing what it's been designed to do. Whatever the reason, these SUVs are absolutely useless off-road.
10 VW Touareg
VW's Touareg has been in production since 2002. Early models suffered from terrible reliability problems which saw their second-hand values tank and consumer confidence dented.
Later models have made big improvements in reliability, but the VW still only manages to achieve average reliability even today. It's certainly not a car anyone would want to be taking off-road as it couldn't be trusted to make it back in one piece.
9 BMW X7
The biggest SUV in BMW's range, the X7 competes with the likes of the Range Rover and Audi Q7. Focusing on luxury with a sideline in performance for bragging rights, the X7 makes no claims to be any good on dirt.
Most buyers of high-end luxury SUVs will never take their machines anywhere near a dirt track, so there was no need for BMW to make the X7 anything but a road car. With prices starting at $92,600, just thinking about the amount of damage an off-road trip could cause is enough to make any X7 owner shudder.
8 Porsche Cayenne
The Porsche Cayenne is one of the longest-running performance SUVs, debuting in 2002. It's gained many fans over the years, striking the balance between luxury, performance, and affordability.
It's a great success for Porsche, and that's probably one of the reasons it's incapable off-road. Porsche has styled itself as a road and track specialist for decades now, and keeping the Cayenne as asphalt-focused as possible sits well with the brand's image.
7 Ford Explorer
One of the best-selling SUVs of recent times, the Ford Explorer is an affordable and versatile vehicle. It's a capable hauler and can be surprisingly fun to drive in higher-spec configurations.
It's not a great off-roader though, simply because Ford never intended it to be. Any SUV that aims to be mass-market has to make some compromises, and in the Explorer's case, it just doesn't have the equipment to take it off the tarmac.
6 Mercedes-Benz GLS
One of Mercedes' current entries into the crowded world of luxury SUVs is the GLS. It's a capable and engaging car on the road, managing to deliver fun for the driver in a safe and family-friendly way.
It's great at being a luxury family SUV, but that focus makes it useless at tougher terrain. Quilted leather seats and lane assist may be great for everyday family-hauling but they won't help when drivers are out in the sticks.
5 Jeep Grand Cherokee Trackhawk
The Jeep Trackhawk is an awesome car and is one of the most powerful SUVs on the road. The 707hp Hellcat engine stuffed in the hood is enough to defeat most things short of a drag racer in a straight line.
Unfortunately, that same power makes it no good off-road. With almost no features designed to help drivers once they're off the asphalt, there's a very good chance the Trackhawk will end up just stuck spinning its tires in the mud.
4 Maserati Levante
Maserati's Levante SUV was designed to revitalize the brand and provide the boost it so desperately needed after so many years of lackluster sales. It isn't a bad seller, but it certainly isn't the all-out success that Maserati was hoping for.
That might just be because it doesn't have a lot to differentiate itself from the hoards of other pavement-crawling SUVs. It certainly can't go off-road, with a low ride height and gearing set up for highway performance rather than trail domination.
3 Cadillac Escalade
The Escalade has been a buyer favorite for Cadillac for many years, and it's clear to see why. Imposing and luxurious, the Escalade can fit a whole family and their luggage comfortably. It's great for family trips or just driving around town, but it's no good on dirt.
A tall frame and soft, pillowy suspension make the Caddy very comfortable on the highway, but off-road this poses a rollover risk. Also, the large chromed wheels look good on the street but will very quickly get ruined out on a trail.
2 Mercedes-Benz ML350
An unassuming and largely mediocre SUV, the ML-Class Mercedes is most popular with suburban families. It is much more common to see these SUVs cruising down the highway than anywhere off-road, and for good reason.
The ML350 just doesn't really have any features that made it good off-road. Power output is okay, but not anything special. Ground clearance is not much more than a regular sedan. All in all, it does a great job of being a practical family SUV but isn't much good for anything else.
1 Lamborghini Urus
When Lamborghini made an SUV, many enthusiasts were worried. Would it be fast enough? Would it have the Lambo spirit? All but the most bitter of purists were quickly converted to the charms of the Urus as soon as they were able to drive it.
Unfortunately, in keeping the Lamborghini spirit the Urus has lost any off-road capability it may have otherwise had. A 4.0L V8 and every electronic performance assist under the sun may make it fast round the track, but it has almost nothing going for it as soon as it leaves the asphalt.