Hey guys; rise and shine! It’s battle time! Yep! You guessed it – the never-ending Chevy-Ford rivalry is blazing hotter than ever! It’s the battle between the two largest auto manufacturers on domestic soil (because nobody really cares about Dodge, if they don’t own one). If you own a Chevy or Ford, chances are – at one point or another – you’ve been wrangled into a tangle of debate over superficial specifications, popular anecdotes and other, generally-subjective topics of debate; none of which can be definitively proven, one way or the other.
The basic framework of the argument is as perpetual as time itself – which is better; Ford or Chevy? It remains self-sustaining because it’s literally one of the longest slow-motion drag races between two corporations we’ve ever really seen. The longtime rivalry pulses with new life each time a new model comes out – horsepower ratings leapfrogging each other by mere tens and twenties; special editions like the ZL1 Camaro and the Shelby Super Snake ensure that there’s never a shortage of new material with which to draw fire from.
But with so much oppositional history between the two sides, it’s only natural that there are some tired old adages, anecdotes, and perceptions that need to be laid to rest. The “beat a dead horse,” phrase is all-too-fitting here, as people tend to recycle old material to strengthen their case in the argument. How many times have you heard these before?
20 Act Like The Mustang Isn’t A Big Deal
The Mustang is our coveted, all-powerful ace-in-the-hole. You may not be a “thicker-than-water” fan, but you can’t deny the contribution the Mustang has made to the Ford machine over the years. The pony hit the streets early in ’64 where it would be designated as the most successful product launch since the Model A.
The concepts, originally built on the Falcon platform, were destined to be the new face of Ford for the next half-century. Despite whatever malarkey naysayers might try to kick across the car’s prestige (or lack thereof) – where was the Camaro in 1965? I didn’t see any Camaros!
19 Act Like The Duramax Is A Better Diesel
Hands down, I’m giving this one to Cummins, and y’all know that’s where it should go. They’ve been in the game since 1920, manufacturing diesel power for anyone that needed a compression igniter to pump out a dirty job. Fittingly, this included pumping oil from the ground, for extended periods of time. Pumping was not easy – high loads and extended duty cycles tore equipment up quickly.
The Cummins however, excelled at sucking the reservoirs dry, one six-horsepower pump at a time. Ever since these early days, they’ve been a pack leader; today is no different. So I’m not going to even try to sit here and pretend their rods aren’t 35% beefier. Cummins motors have always been hard to break.
18 Rebadge It – To “Make It Faster”
We all know this guy – go to any Wednesday night car show to find about 10 of him. He’s the dude that, for whatever reason, decides on the V-6 while he’s at the dealership, but somewhere along the way, decided that the base model wasn’t befitting his ego. Rather than slap a supercharger on it – like a man – he buys “emblems” to install in their stead.
You can get away with this when you’re putting SS decals on your “clone” Chevelle, but contemporary cars afford you no such leeway. Especially when you don't even get authentic GM parts.
17 Act Like The Super Snake Wasn’t Better
When Carroll Shelby reunited with Ford after a three-decade hiatus, the reestablished partnership was to create – in typical Shelby fashion – a hallmark Shelby GT500. And with that, the 2007 year was to reignite the spark of a legacy, once again, into a raging fire. If the 500 hp 5.4L that came standard didn’t float it for you, you could have it sent to Shelby’s Las Vegas performance center. There, they’d rework your Shelby into a “Super Snake.”
The name first appeared in the mid-60s as applied to a pair of 800 hp 427s. The eponymous, 2008 counterparts came with a 605 hp 5.4L. An empty checkbox next to a twin-screw supercharger (and an additional 120 hp) was only a scribble away from reality, should you have been feeling brave that day.
16 Remember The Firestone, Or Don't...
Sure, the Firestone debacle was a mess – nobody is going to argue that. At almost 300 fatalities and nearly 1,000 injuries domestically (with even more abroad), this was one of the scariest times to find yourself next to an Explorer on the freeway.
The controversy would ultimately end a century-long relationship with the auto giant and one of its preferred tire manufacturers. Admittedly, it was a mess, but over two decades after the fact – it’s just about as relevant as the Vega! What’s next? Are they going to attack the Edsel now, 70 years after the fact?
15 Exaggerate Ford’s Bad Decisions (70 Years Later)
If there’s one thing Chevy guys are second-to-none at, it’s bringing up old news – way after the fact. Whether they can’t find any other dirt to sift through – or they find the biggest automotive blunder in history to be funny – the well-read Chevy connoisseur will, on occasion, tend to bring up this fiasco – more than a half-century after the fact.
Admittedly, the $250 million mistakes (in 1960s-dollars) would prove to be the biggest automotive dud in recorded history. Be sure to tell the Chevy guy who throws that in your face that – despite the mishap – Ford is still alive and healthier than ever.
14 Ignore Performance Deficiencies
Ignorance is bliss, so they say. In reality, ignorance is a habitual bias you’ll run into every time you and a Chevy guy cross paths – and you’ll never win (not even when you win). All one needs to do is take a look at the almighty C3 Corvette; it’s the flagship of Bowtie performance and pretty much the only reason Chevy guys have any wind in their saggy sails in the first place.
Corvettes are sweet rides, don’t get me wrong. They’re fast too – some of them. Others came from the factory with performance deficiencies that you just can’t justify; no Corvette (fresh off the line) should ever take 15.3 seconds at 95 mph to pound out a quarter-mile – but that’s exactly what the L82 motor did.
13 Can't Acknowledge Their Own Flaws
Wanna talk about duds? What about the rust-bucket Citations Chevy-lovers seem to always “conveniently” forget about? You know they remember it! It was a single-generation line, initially released in 1980 as a replacement for the Nova (great little car, until the tragedy that was the fourth-generation iteration).
There’s a really good reason you don’t see them on the road today – they aren’t on the road today. They are sitting in countless wrecking yards across the nation, awaiting the gratifying process of graduating to a can of Blue Ribbon.
12 Compare Apples To Oranges
This pretty much sums it up – whether they’d like to admit it or not. They can source all the Motor Trend stats they want to when the bowtie happens to take a Ford down. Sometimes they do, let’s be honest. But it hasn’t been a century-long rivalry for no reason; everybody keeps each other honest.
They call us on our bull, and it’s up to us to call them on theirs. That is the only way it can be. When someone starts getting all-uppity about their Duramax – you can remind them your Power Stroke has been around seven years longer.
11 Unwavering Adulation
This Chevy guy looks like he’s out for regular Sunday cruise in his Nova; always broken down, hanging off the back of a U-Haul trailer. He had better hope his 6.0L Vortec is more reliable than that tired little 194cid – lest he needs to rely on one of his Ford buddies to come to his rescue.
All of that is very likely; but the truth is, the Nova just broke down on the way to Baldwin Park, where the long-awaited V-8 conversion was about to happen. The owner ended up having to rent a U-haul and grab his truck for the rest of the journey. How do I know this? I am the owner.
10 Hyper Focus On A Spec
Admittedly, it’s easy to get sucked up in a warm blanket of affirming performance specifications. Trucks have astronomical towing capacities today. But those lofty ratings have been put under fire on more than one occasion, for the fact that – without the commercial driver’s license required to operate equipment over 26,000lbs – anything north of a non-commercial towing capacity is argued to be purely academic.
What good is it if you can’t take advantage? In the case of the Mustang and the Camaro, one is faster – and one just isn’t. But, with a few cleverly-crafted sentences, I can make either one sound superior to the other.
9 Be Blind Chevy Rooters
The thing about the Ford-Chevy rivalry is, it’ll never be settled – not until one of us goes out of business. With a just about an equal-sized following on either side of the bias curve, neither brand really stands out definitively, but you know who’s really better. Chevy guys will argue with you, but you can argue back – just as well.
That’s all well and good. But what about those “blind rooters?” You know – those guys who have an opinion (either way in the matter), but actually drive an Acura? As fun quibbling over one brand’s superiority over the other may be, nobody cares what you think if you don’t have a pink. (#truth)
8 Dis The Legend
Say what they will, you know what’s up. The 5.0L has been at it long enough to have gained respect from both sides of the podium at this point. Sure, there are more powerful muscle factories out there – there’s always going to be bigger motors out there – but pound for pound, the 5.0L was hard to take down.
Ford Racing division released a race-spec 304cid, known as the “Cammer,” in 2005; it was essentially a re-sleeved 4.6L aluminum block. The DOHC configuration allowed plenty of breathing potential for the crate engine and was specially configured for high-performance applications. Yea baby.
7 Pick On Base Models With A Mid-Trim Motor
The 6.2L comes in two trim levels for the Camaro; both LT1 and LT4 engines are good platforms – we must give credit where credit is due. But only the LT4 will be ferociously rated at 650 hp The LT1 is a 455 hp Corvette motor that just happened to fit nicely. But without that big V8, what really would the Camaro amount to?
The next step down is a pitiful-335 hp V6 – and if you care to scrape the bottom of the barrel, the 2.0L Ecotec pumps 275 hp from four anemic cylinders for zero thrills from zero to 60 mph (and few thereafter).
6 Pretend That The SBC Is The Most Popular Engine In The World
In reality, it is. Even the heartiest of Ford fans can’t deny that fact. In fact, no one in the world can deny that fact. They’ve been pounding the streets since 1955 and were in service all the way up until 2003, where the Gen II “LT” and Gen III “LS” motors took the wheel.
When all was said and done, over 100,000,000 small blocks were cranked out from various plants and since have found themselves in almost every motored application that will accept one. They are even extremely popular in the ’32 Model A roadster. Still, they don’t have to always rub it in.
5 Wear Their Cars On Their Backs 1615
I can see what you drive just fine as I’m walking through the parking lot of the grocery store; everybody can see you just fine. We understand you’re proud of your car, but only you care that much. I don’t need to be reminded of your pompous opinion as I try to jockey around you in the bread aisle, and I don’t care how much your wife likes it either.
So take your stocking stuffer off, put a respectable button up on and get out of those Walmart sandals.
4 Wear Their Cars On Their Bodies
There are so many doses of “No” in this simple photograph; I really don’t know where to begin. So, how about we start with the elephant in the room – bad spot, man. Could this not have been relocated a bit; maybe moved up toward the shoulders?
I’m not even going to mention that three-wheel action going on to the left, but low riders can do weird things to a man. We'll end this discussion and leave it at that.
3 Make Fun Of The Cars On Your Body
So, buddy over there can put a low rider mural on his lower back – and that’s supposed to be okay – while you get heat for simply being blue-blooded? What type of one-way-biased world are we living in here? You have to wear your colors, and wear them proudly!
As long as you refrain from “stamping” anything in the vicinity directly above your sweet, little cheeks on your lower back, you should be okay. (Pro Tip #456: Don’t be cheap. This will be on you for the rest of your life – don’t let your buddy “practice” on you for a discount.)
2 “My Blower Is Bigger”
We’ve all stared beauties like this down at car shows harder than a Shanghai showdown at high-noon from across the parking lot. The prominent blower assembly peeks up like a periscope from the engine bay as if the motor “needs” to see where it’s going more than the driver. That’s all great! These cars are awesome…to look at!
It’s called Pro Street, and anybody can build one if you have the money! Speed and performance? Naaaah! Don’t worry about those, this build is only supposed to “look” fast; the highly exaggerated features serve merely as “tribute” to the pop-culture drag racing hysteria that swept a nation decades ago.
1 Remind You That It’s A Chevy
Because it’s easy to forget, right? After all, it’s not like manufacturers are stamping out tailgates with dartboard-sized emblems dead-center – big enough to see from a mile away. Indeed, the bad styling cues that are prevailing on today’s pickup trucks makes it impossible to misidentify, unless you’re blind as a bat – in which case, you have no business behind the wheel of a motor vehicle in the first place.
All of that aside, however, it’s a genius product; a CNC-cut sliver of cheap aluminum fused to a 2-inch steel tube probably cost about as much to produce as recycling a few aluminum cans – and these fools buy ‘em for $35 all day long!
Sources: The Truth About Cars, Autobytel, The Drive