We all love sleepers – sports cars in disguise. That’s exactly what they want you to think. Yes, go ahead and laugh at the station wagon with that little red badge on it. Sneer at that little black pickup with no ground clearance.

The thing is, once you’ve blown past some miserable old commodities broker in his Testarossa, the adrenaline will fade. You’ll worry maybe you broke something. What car will do the best to assuage those concerns?

We set out to find out the most family-friendly four-door – and the winner is remarkably unsurprising.

RELATED: These Affordable Cars Can Be Easily Turned Into Sports Car Slaying Sleepers

What Is A Family Sleeper Anyway?

Blue Kia Stinger
via: Guide Auto

Firstly, we limited it to cars that actually look like sleepers. The Kia Stinger shown above is not a sleeper. Aesthetically it’s a Fiat 124 with four doors and twice the horsepower.

For the sake of our definition, we’re saying anything that does 0-60 faster than 6 seconds counts as a sleeper. If it’s quick enough to compete with a classic muscle car (or, for that matter, sports cars of the era), we reckon that counts as fast. Some of the cars we considered actually do 0-60 in just over 5 – that’s squarely modern sports car territory.

Second, we stuck with manufacturers that still exist – you can’t get a manufacturer warranty on a car made by a defunct company. For the sake of maintenance simplicity we’re avoiding hybrids – which would in fact be significantly quicker and better on gas.

We’re looking for all the indicators of a genuinely good car for a family – so, a premium on crash safety, comfort, boot capacity and fuel economy. We also want it to be cheap to buy, repair and maintain. Using these basic criteria we narrowed it down to five contestants: the Honda Accord 2.0T, Kia K900, Lincoln MKZ, Toyota Avalon Touring and the Volvo V90 T6 Inscription.

Elimination Process

Kia K900 White
via: Motor1

The K900 came out strong – only the MKZ could really compete in the 0-60 stakes, and it had a much better interior than the others. Plus it’s a Kia so the warranty and reliability were always going to be superb. Unfortunately, it isn’t crash-safety rated, the mileage is comparatively poor and it’s by a huge margin the most expensive vehicle here at roughly $60,000.

2020 Volvo V90
via: Carscoops

The V90 is pricey, with a minimum of $50,000 to pay – but it’s European, of course it is. You’d hope, it being a Volvo, that said price would buy you a real quality product, but it doesn’t. The predicted reliability is a lousy 2.5 stars, and the crash safety didn’t even break the top three. Sure, you get a lot of trunk space since it’s a wagon, but there’s no guarantee you’d get far with what you’re carrying.

Lincoln MKZ White
via: Auto Trader

The MKZ is a good car – it offers an excellent warranty, comfortable interior, potent speed (400hp on tap for a 0-60 of 5 seconds!), decent trunk space and good crash safety and reliability. All this comes at a relatively affordable $44,000. Really, the only reason it’s here is because the others are better – and because its mileage is so poor.

The Final Two

Toyota Avalon Touring White
via: Hotcars

The Accord 2.0T and Avalon Touring generally dominated our rankings, but deciding between them required more detailed assessment. The Avalon is the slowest car here, barely fitting the acceleration criterion with 0-60 at around 6 seconds. It isn’t in the top three for crash safety or even comfort, which is a little embarrassing for an upscale offering, especially one that’s nearly as expensive as the much more comfy MKZ. Regardless, it is still the third cheapest car here, snags the prize for best mileage and reliability, and probably has the best trunk space.

Red Honda Accord 2.0T
via: The Torque Report

That sounds a bit weak. The Accord, meanwhile, is the cheapest and most comfortable car here, it’s faster than the Avalon and even the Camry, it’s barely less efficient on gas (1mpg difference) and it has the second-largest trunk (after the V90) and second-best crash safety ranking. That really looks like a shoe-in.

It isn’t, though. The Accord’s trunk may be large, but getting stuff into it is a nuisance. Also – damningly – there’s the issue of its reliability ranking as reported by U.S. News and World Report. It’s less than three stars, the worst here. This is a baffling failure for a Honda Accord, the accepted synecdoche for reliability. It even had a safety recall for electronics failures, which according to their recall could result in “malfunctions of various systems such as the windshield wipers and defroster, rearview camera, exterior lights, audible warning of a stopped vehicle, and power window operation.”

That said, the Avalon had a recall concerning the fuel pump which concerned up to 1.5 million vehicles. The Accord’s recall covered maybe half that number. What’s more, a fuel pump malfunction can cause a car to outright stall.

Both cars have exactly the same warranty. The difference is, the Accord costs $10,000 less – so you could spend all of that on repairs and still potentially be better off than the Avalon owner. The average cost of insurance, maintenance and repairs for the Accord is lower as well. J.D. Power’s own review of the car was quite glowing, as are consumer reviews. It was Edmund's top rated sedan in 2019.

Winner: Honda Accord 2.0T

Honda Accord 2.0T At Speed
via: Motor Biscuit

The world doesn’t lack for fast sedans. Currently, one of the quickest cars worldwide in the 0-60 sprint is an electric four-door. It doesn’t lack for sedan sleepers either – but we wanted to find a pleasant workhorse of a car that could just as easily keep up with older sports cars as serve an entire family for years.

As the reliability appears not to be an issue for owners, the Accord’s one serious black mark has been scrubbed and the advantages come to light. It’s affordable, comfortable, efficient and capacious. Finally – most importantly – it doesn’t look anywhere near as fast as it actually is.

Honda Accord 2.0T Grey
via: Best Ride

Sources: Car and Driver, CarIndigo, Edmund’s, J.D. Power, Motor Trend, US News and World Report

NEXT: 10 Best Sleeper Cars You Can Buy Under $10,000